Zencarboss Pakfumdan is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, quiet armadillo.

Zencarboss Pakfumdan created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zencarboss Pakfumdan, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zencarboss Pakfumdan, she will turn you into a worm.

Zencarboss Pakfumdan's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Zencarboss Pakfumdan's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Feed all hungry moths.