Fomnatcum Tapkembodtail Gupsidrip is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unfair fly.

Fomnatcum Tapkembodtail Gupsidrip created the Whirlpool Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomnatcum Tapkembodtail Gupsidrip, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fomnatcum Tapkembodtail Gupsidrip, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Fomnatcum Tapkembodtail Gupsidrip's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Fomnatcum Tapkembodtail Gupsidrip's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Hide from mauve great tits for they are unholy.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Never pour water over plants.