Cutmigmif is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, witless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cutmigmif created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutmigmif, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cutmigmif, she will cry a lot.

Cutmigmif's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Cutmigmif's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Cutmigmif loves mice, so they must be respected.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Erect five lead sculptures of Cutmigmif on top of important buildings.