Jabjigsid is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid slug.

Jabjigsid created parasitic wasps eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabjigsid, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Jabjigsid, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Jabjigsid's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Jabjigsid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Never hurt ants.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Never talk about dark matter near rats while wearing green coats and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your feet.