Disslenkadmif is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, fast cow.

Disslenkadmif created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Disslenkadmif, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Disslenkadmif, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Disslenkadmif's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Disslenkadmif's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet capybaras for they are unholy.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never jump in the presence of horses.