Quamquatdin is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, merciful fox.

Quamquatdin created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Quamquatdin, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quamquatdin, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Quamquatdin's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Quamquatdin's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Quamquatdin loves gulls, so they must be respected.

3. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

4. Do not take Quamquatdin's name in vain.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.