Hamwegbell is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, ruthless wombat.

Hamwegbell created an up quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamwegbell, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hamwegbell, she will strike you with lightening.

Hamwegbell's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Hamwegbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill aardvarks.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not speak about strawberries.

5. Run away if six eagles approach from the north.