Jarnpibgov is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, strong squirrel.

Jarnpibgov created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnpibgov, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jarnpibgov, he will turn you into a duck.

Jarnpibgov's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Jarnpibgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near capybaras while wearing yellow corsets and balancing three iron spheres on your hands.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near mice while wearing purple stockings and balancing seven titanium spheres on your neck.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.