Zubsiszed is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, idiotic dove.

Zubsiszed created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zubsiszed, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zubsiszed, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zubsiszed's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Zubsiszed's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet indigo.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Always help sick moths.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always wear green.