Pomgunnarl is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, merciless penguin.

Pomgunnarl created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pomgunnarl, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pomgunnarl, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Pomgunnarl's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Pomgunnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Run away from mauve sharks, for they are unholy.

4. Never wear purple skirts.

5. Hide if nine hamsters approach from the north.