Timgon Hangembog Yokrillmip is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unselfish fish.

Timgon Hangembog Yokrillmip created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timgon Hangembog Yokrillmip, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Timgon Hangembog Yokrillmip, she will turn you into a dog.

Timgon Hangembog Yokrillmip's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Timgon Hangembog Yokrillmip's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not hurt whales.