Bettarpaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, wise horse.

Bettarpaf created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bettarpaf, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bettarpaf, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bettarpaf's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Bettarpaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not wear blue clothing.