Ceddapnart is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, vain lobster.

Ceddapnart created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ceddapnart, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ceddapnart, he will come to you in dreams.

Ceddapnart's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Ceddapnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise boots.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Ceddapnart on top of all buildings.

4. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

5. Always help sick gulls.