Tonkablarg is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, emotional donkey.

Tonkablarg created Asia two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkablarg, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tonkablarg, she will turn you into a plant.

Tonkablarg's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Tonkablarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tonkablarg's name in vain.

2. Tonkablarg loves snails, so they must be respected.

3. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never paint your face green.