Sugbadvil is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring mongoose.

Sugbadvil created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sugbadvil, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sugbadvil, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Sugbadvil's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Sugbadvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not eat cucumbers.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Sugbadvil in the centre of the settlement.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never eat nuts.