Yarportdit is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unsympathetic salamander.

Yarportdit created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarportdit, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yarportdit, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Yarportdit's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Yarportdit's Holy Commandments

1. Ducks are not to be trusted.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Yarportdit in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not speak about nuts.