Dosspigquart Nabfutlip is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, irritating coyote.

Dosspigquart Nabfutlip created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dosspigquart Nabfutlip, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dosspigquart Nabfutlip, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Dosspigquart Nabfutlip's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dosspigquart Nabfutlip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not take Dosspigquart Nabfutlip's name in vain.

4. Feed all hungry gulls.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.