Limpitarm is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, narcissistic yak.

Limpitarm created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Limpitarm, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Limpitarm, she will turn you into a goat.

Limpitarm's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Limpitarm's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always help dolphins.