Nelyattwad is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, flying armadillo.

Nelyattwad created everything that exists nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelyattwad, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nelyattwad, it will boil you in a big pot.

Nelyattwad's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Nelyattwad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nelyattwad.

2. Never think about optics near mites while wearing cyan corsets and balancing eight lead spheres on your arms.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never go into fawn rooms.