Jigzag is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, selfish monkey.

Jigzag created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jigzag, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jigzag, he will not care at all.

Jigzag's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Jigzag's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Jigzag.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Jigzag on top of all buildings.

5. Respect your elders.