Sablapmeg Bustafbedzen is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, charitable wombat.

Sablapmeg Bustafbedzen created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sablapmeg Bustafbedzen, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sablapmeg Bustafbedzen, he will think nothing of it.

Sablapmeg Bustafbedzen's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Sablapmeg Bustafbedzen's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Sablapmeg Bustafbedzen.

2. Do not hurt doves.

3. You must pray to Sablapmeg Bustafbedzen six times a day.

4. Never feed lots of spinach to birds while wearing black corsets.

5. Fast once a month.