Vinpodjab is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish manatee.

Vinpodjab created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinpodjab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vinpodjab, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Vinpodjab's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Vinpodjab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vinpodjab.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.