Litkiphun is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish deer.

Litkiphun created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Litkiphun, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Litkiphun, she will turn you into a dog.

Litkiphun's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Litkiphun's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about dark energy near shrews while wearing brown rings.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not take Litkiphun's name in vain.