Bonknuraf is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, clever manatee.

Bonknuraf created bats four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonknuraf, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bonknuraf, he will turn you into a sheep.

Bonknuraf's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bonknuraf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill manatees.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near voles while wearing pink jumpers and balancing nine iron spheres on your feet.