Fotfobvid is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, prudent cow.

Fotfobvid created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotfobvid, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fotfobvid, she will turn you into a puffin.

Fotfobvid's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fotfobvid's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fotfobvid.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always look after injured doves.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.