Cetflowtail is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid gorilla.

Cetflowtail created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetflowtail, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cetflowtail, he will be very sad.

Cetflowtail's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Cetflowtail's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

2. Cetflowtail must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never wear fawn hats.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Worship no other gods but Cetflowtail.