Mipjig is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, conceited mongoose.

Mipjig created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mipjig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mipjig, he will turn you into a tree.

Mipjig's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Mipjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mipjig.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.