Quartfatcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, effective donkey.

Quartfatcuss created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartfatcuss, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quartfatcuss, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Quartfatcuss' most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Quartfatcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Erect five lead sculptures of Quartfatcuss on top of important buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Do not hurt moths.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near monkeys while wearing magenta skirts and balancing six nickel spheres on your back.

5. Never feed strawberries to foxes while wearing turquoise rings.