Dimvendid is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, witless lion.

Dimvendid created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimvendid, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dimvendid, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dimvendid's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Dimvendid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Dimvendid on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.