Quagbamvagmatsaddadnelhab is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, quiet bear.

Quagbamvagmatsaddadnelhab created carbon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quagbamvagmatsaddadnelhab, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quagbamvagmatsaddadnelhab, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Quagbamvagmatsaddadnelhab's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Quagbamvagmatsaddadnelhab's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quagbamvagmatsaddadnelhab.

3. Never hop near ducks.

4. Always treat birds with great respect.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.