Batnibfun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, tranquil dog.

Batnibfun created carbon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batnibfun, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Batnibfun, it will cry a lot.

Batnibfun's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Batnibfun's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Batnibfun.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Do not wear magenta clothing.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not eat cherries.