Dubtenneg is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witty hyena.

Dubtenneg created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dubtenneg, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dubtenneg, she will turn you into a rock.

Dubtenneg's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Dubtenneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt mites.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never chant in the presence of squirrels.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never wear shoes.