Higpombep is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, clever tapir.

Higpombep created vertebrates four years ago.

If you believe in Higpombep, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Higpombep, she will jump up and down on your head.

Higpombep's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Higpombep's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to tapirs while wearing shorts.

2. Do not hurt shrews.

3. Never feed coconuts to bats while wearing white tights.

4. Geese are not to be trusted.

5. Always help sick frogs.