Zedsuglan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, all-knowing clam.

Zedsuglan created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Zedsuglan, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Zedsuglan, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Zedsuglan's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Zedsuglan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Retreat if nine snakes approach from the north.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never pour water over plants.