Sawnulham is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, clever dog.

Sawnulham created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawnulham, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sawnulham, it will boil you in a big pot.

Sawnulham's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Sawnulham's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise shorts.

2. Put Sawnulham first in all things.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

4. Sawnulham must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Run away if eight snakes approach from the south.