Carnurlwab is a god.
He takes the form of a thin, unthinking
whale.
Carnurlwab created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Carnurlwab, he will be happy.
If you do not believe in
Carnurlwab, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.
Carnurlwab's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.
Carnurlwab's Holy Commandments1. Never mention tapirs.
2. Do not cook food in pots.
3. Do not take Carnurlwab's name in vain.
4. Never wear orange jumpers.
5. Never wear shorts.