Nakquartfed is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, quiet raven.

Nakquartfed created the Sombrero Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakquartfed, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nakquartfed, it will jump up and down on your head.

Nakquartfed's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Nakquartfed's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. You must never eat melons.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Never look in ponds.