Xuckvonlik is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, egotistical seal.

Xuckvonlik created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckvonlik, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xuckvonlik, it will turn you into a rat.

Xuckvonlik's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Xuckvonlik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near grasshopers while wearing blue trousers.

2. Worship no other gods but Xuckvonlik.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always obey Xuckvonlik's priests.

5. Always pray immersed in water.