Cimtof is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, loving turtle.

Cimtof created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimtof, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cimtof, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cimtof's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Cimtof's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

2. Hide from gray turtles for they are unholy.

3. Feed all hungry geese.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near pigs while wearing magenta shoes.

5. Never look in ponds.