Dumarnfobstikmilbestlopget is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unthoughtful shrew.

Dumarnfobstikmilbestlopget created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumarnfobstikmilbestlopget, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dumarnfobstikmilbestlopget, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Dumarnfobstikmilbestlopget's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dumarnfobstikmilbestlopget's Holy Commandments

1. Put Dumarnfobstikmilbestlopget first in all things.

2. Never hurt mites.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never talk about optics near ducks while wearing violet ear rings and balancing seven carbon spheres on your back.

5. Never think about chlorophyll.