Tinbissan is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-powerful jaguar.

Tinbissan created water three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tinbissan, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tinbissan, it will turn you into a worm.

Tinbissan's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Tinbissan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not kill tapirs.

4. Run away if nine moths approach from the east.

5. Respect your elders.