Talzignab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, egotistical dove.

Talzignab created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Talzignab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Talzignab, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Talzignab's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Talzignab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Never think about thermodynamics.