Gigxuckpak is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, deceitful grasshopper.

Gigxuckpak created the solar system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigxuckpak, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gigxuckpak, it will turn you into a plant.

Gigxuckpak's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Gigxuckpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not keep six bats in a large pit.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Always take life seriously.