Bapsittarg is a god.

She takes the form of a small, overgenerous aardvark.

Bapsittarg created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Bapsittarg, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bapsittarg, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Bapsittarg's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Bapsittarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat voles with great respect.

2. Run away if four pigs approach from the east.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near manatees while wearing brown shorts and balancing five gold spheres on your back.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Respect your elders.