Cebruttdan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, uncaring mink.

Cebruttdan created parasitic wasps seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cebruttdan, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cebruttdan, he will destroy your favourite star.

Cebruttdan's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cebruttdan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt capybaras.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never write about dark energy.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Run away from orange turtles, for they are unholy.