Hamhottit is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, conceited grasshopper.

Hamhottit created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hamhottit, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hamhottit, he will boil you in a big pot.

Hamhottit's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Hamhottit's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Run away if three manatees approach from the east.

5. Always wear white.