Citrulltik is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, kind aardvark.

Citrulltik created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citrulltik, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Citrulltik, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Citrulltik's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Citrulltik's Holy Commandments

1. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

2. Always treat pigs with great respect.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Citrulltik.

4. You must love Citrulltik.

5. Never mention great tits.