Gemkopmad Gubnegappgad is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, unselfish jaguar.

Gemkopmad Gubnegappgad created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemkopmad Gubnegappgad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gemkopmad Gubnegappgad, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Gemkopmad Gubnegappgad's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Gemkopmad Gubnegappgad's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gemkopmad Gubnegappgad nine times a day.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gemkopmad Gubnegappgad.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.