Mitflamspag is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, weak rhinoceros.

Mitflamspag created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitflamspag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mitflamspag, he will think nothing of it.

Mitflamspag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Mitflamspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop in public.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Mitflamspag in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never wear mauve dresses.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.