Vonknigmif is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, conceited guinea pig.

Vonknigmif created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vonknigmif, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vonknigmif, he will turn you into a puffin.

Vonknigmif's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Vonknigmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never run in the presence of bats.

4. Always obey Vonknigmif's priests.

5. Never hop in holy places.